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Many girls at Alexandria University have fallen for the charms of 22- year-old Michael, an Egyptian art student with delicate features and green almond-shaped eyes. But he has lost count of the number of times he has refused to go out on dates - and not because he likes playing hard to get. He is just more interested in spending time with his French boyfriend. "I tell the girls straight away that it's not personal and that I am gay," he explains with a shy smile. "They are shocked in the beginning, but then we become friends."
Michael started having homosexual intercourse when he was 12 but his first steady relationship happened when he was 16. After it was over, he got depressed and had to be medicated for a year - which was when he told his family about his sexual orientation.
"Homosexuality is becoming more apparent in the Egyptian society," says Dr. Josette Abdalla, assistant professor of Psychology at the American University in Cairo (AUC). "This is in part the result of more exposure to mass media, western influences and more access to papers, satellite dishes and TV."
According to her, these factors are making Egyptians more aware of their own sexuality.
The changes are happening slowly, however. Numbers and visibility are increasing, but homosexuality is still a taboo in the country. Even though everybody knows it has always existed - in literature and real life - nobody talks about it. Crossing the safe line between the familiar world of heterosexuality and venturing into the unknown of open homosexuality is still a risk most don't take.
"It is a contradictory phenomenon," explains Ted Swedenburg, assistant professor of Anthropology at University of Arkansas and a Middle East expert. "In the past, it was not very much talked about, but it was more accepted. Now, homosexuality is more visible and causing more reaction." The reaction is more of a backlash, however. Instead of becoming more liberal, society is becoming more conservative. According to Swedenburg, it could be because it is easier to deal with things when they remain out of sight.
Michael complains about the attitude towards what he thinks are the millions of homosexuals present in Egypt, including gays and lesbians. "Even if the government accepts [homosexuality] and makes it official, the people will still refuse it," he says. "They think that being gay is shameful and brings Egypt a bad reputation."
He is probably right. The reaction of society, especially the family, is still the main factor hindering homosexuals in admitting their orientation according to health care experts.
"It's a big shame to the family because it's not only about the homosexual himself," says Dr. Sanaa Nassif, HIV/AIDS program officer at Caritas Egypt. "His sister is going to be known as the sister of a homosexual and his father will be known for having a homosexual son."
Ashraf (like most quoted in this article, not his real name), a 30-year-old doctor in Cairo, preferred to spare his family from such comments. Gay for more than half of his life now, his parents still don't know about his sexual choice. Instead, they keep asking him when he will get married. "I will never tell them that I'm gay," he says. "I don't want to hurt them." Intolerance to homosexuality is not only found inside the family. Societal norms still hold a very strict position regarding sexuality and even people who have daily contact with the gay scene have a hard time accepting them. Mohammed, manager of a famous gay hangout in a Cairo five-star hotel, doesn't sympathize with his customers, despite the business they generate. "Money with a bad reputation, how good is that?" he asks. "Even prostitutes are more respectable than gays."
Hassan, a 26-year-old actor in Cairo, remembers the days when homosexuals had more freedom and less restrictions.
"Five years ago, I gave a birthday party and invited around 30 people," he recalls. "About 200 people showed up, some complete strangers. I didn't even know there were that many gays in Egypt." But despite the increasing numbers, the situation is getting worse.
In addition to prejudice, homosexuals also have to deal with police abuse - they are sometimes arrested when leaving pubs and beaten up for no apparent reason.
Ahmed, who owns a restaurant in Alexandria, has never been arrested, but prefers to play it safe. "A friend of mine was taken and forced to sign a document admitting that he was making out in the street, which was not true," he recalls. "Now every time police are out there, I call everyone to warn them."
Episodes like these usually happen only to the more affluent gays, especially because they are the ones who have money to spend in pubs and restaurants. Homosexuals from poorer segments of society meet at public places, such as Ataba Square or Ramsis Station, where the crowds make the meetings harder to spot.
"Some lower-class men become homosexuals just because they don't have enough money to afford a prostitute," says Dr. Nassif. "If they have money, they usually go for a woman."
According to her, lower-class homosexuals differ from their richer counterparts not only in the way they dress and places they go, but also in the way they behave.
"Most lower-class homosexuals don't look or behave in a feminine way," says Dr. Nassif. Unlike the high-class gay scene, they don't have feminine gestures or voices - many don't even see themselves as gays, especially if they play the more active role in sexual relations.
"If they are active, they are considered even more masculine because they are not sleeping with a woman, but with a man, who is stronger," explains Nassif.
Sometimes leading a dual life, like most homosexuals in Egypt, might cause more problems than just prejudice and rejection. In the face of these pressures, some homosexuals can't maintain the facade - and end up with serious psychological problems such as paranoia and depression. "One of my clients was so obsessed with the idea that someone would find out about him being gay that every time somebody spat near him, he thought that the person knew about it ," says Dr. Nassif. "He would take it as a sign of disdain."
According to the psychiatrist, most of her clients are from poor backgrounds because they are less afraid of exposing themselves. "Because of their economic situation, many of them think they are not worthy of respect," she explains. "That sometimes makes it easier for them to seek help."
By help she means counseling, not treatment. It is common to see homosexuals denying their own identity and seeking out a "cure." One of Dr. Nassif's clients was so busy trying not to be gay he quit his job and stayed at home to avoid risky situations.
According to her, problems like these could be avoided if more information about the issue were available, especially for young people. "Because nobody talks about it, these people spend a lot of time thinking about sex and creating wrong ideas," says Dr. Nassif.
With homosexuality becoming more visible in Egypt, some believe that the solution to their dilemma lies in reversing the conservative trend in society.
"There must be more freedom," says Swedenburg. "It all comes with more freedom of expression and education." He feels homosexuals need to play a major role in the process, but steps have to be taken slowly, starting with the individual.
"I hope I'm setting the example for other people like me," says Michael. "If you accept and respect yourself, everybody will accept and respect you."
© Copyright 2003 by
ArtArabia.com
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